Koozie Contest

Wrap up your summer in colours!

Every once in a while we take stock of ourselves here at beerfloat.calm and the best way to do that is through you our followers.

So, we checked our Instagram responses and found that one special floater in particular responds faster and more often to our new posts than everybody else. We thought, they deserve a special treat for being such a loyal floater and after some private communication we planned to send them a set of four beerfloat.calm koozies as a way of showing our appreciation for their devotion.

We expected to receive an almost instantaneous reply as they would be overwhelmed by our generous gift. In response to receiving this coveted swag we anticipated our joy filled recipient to send us a photo with one of their new wraps in hand surrounding a beverage of their choice. Better yet they may even be floating for the photo op!

Our disappointment at having to wait for just a simple reply to get a shipping address crept over us slowly. The excitement we had held for this clever free gift endeavour dwindled. As more time passed, office morale started to collapse until staff members were leaping off the roof.

Luckily we have a swimming pool located below so everything was fine but never-the-less, folks were distraught.

Unfortunately our steadfast disciple had gone MIA.

Sure it had been less than an hour since we had sent our message to the lucky soul but this lack of response was so out of character that we developed possible reasons for their unresponsiveness.

Perhaps, they were just busy at work, although anybody with any kind of respectable employment surely checks their phone every fifteen minutes; unless, of course, they were in a meeting and couldn’t reply.

Or maybe, they had taken an afternoon off and were at a cinema for a matinee with their phone in ‘Do Not Disturb’ mode. With a couple of blockbuster new releases out we all agreed this was very plausible; we’ve all done it. Cheered by our understanding of the scenario we finished the work day knowing we would have our objective realised in the morning.

When morning came, our sadness deepened. We still had no reply.

“Great fan of floating, where are you?” we screamed silently to ourselves.

Corliss, the great guru of our float world, relieved us this time by pointing out that ‘Follower #1’ might be on a wilderness canoe trip just like he takes himself. There would be a response in two or three more days at the most because no one can portage enough beer to last longer than that.

With our minds at ease we were able to get to our tasks at hand and seeing the guru’s confidence we were able to push through another couple of days. But again darkness skulked into our minds.

“What if ‘Great Float Follower #1’ had been on a secret covert mission in North Korea and had been captured?”

This would explain why Kim Jong Un had recently signed on as a subscriber and why we received a random email asking if we knew of any fissionable nuclear material that might be available for purchase.

As downtrodden as we might be with this very real prospect, we were forced to completely restructure our plan, and who better to come up with a great solution than Corliss, once again.

To summarize his uplifting speech he said, “Hey gang, it’s Friday afternoon, we all want to get to the bar and we don’t have sh*t from that ungrateful f**ker, so let’s have a contest for readers who really want some free koozies.”

“Let’s get this published and we can all get the f**k outta here!”

Not to worry though Follower #1, your gift set will still be waiting for you whenever you send us a shipping address, unless that address is in Pyongyang.

__________

 And so, we are launching our…  

Win a set of four

beerfloat.calm koozies

Contest

To enter send an email to beerfloat@beerfloat.calm using the subject title koozie contest.

Please include a name and shipping address.

We will select three lucky winners from all entries received – but - it is not a random draw.

No sir, we want you to tell us why you should be the one to receive this wonderful beerfloat.calm endowment.

Tell us about your floating exploits. Tell us where and how you will use your insulating wraps.

Make us believe you are a deserving individual!

As with our previous contests we don’t have an exact deadline; we’re kinda flaky that way, but rest assured your prizes are sitting here ready to be popped into a delivery system, wherever you may reside (except North Korea).

Can’t you just taste that cold bevy now!

Enter early and often, make us proud.

The Staff at beerfloat.calm

beerfloat.calm = beerfloat.net not beerfloat.com